


He's on my mind

by Aroomofmyown



Category: TharnType the Series (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Boyfriends, Domestic Boyfriends, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:47:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23914798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aroomofmyown/pseuds/Aroomofmyown
Summary: "Type and Tharn may have allowed us to grow closer, but what we feel is not fiction, it is real"
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong
Comments: 11
Kudos: 194





	1. Gulf

It was late at night and thoughts were running through his head. He was lying on the ned and he could feel the blankets at his feet tangled because of his unrest. He never suffered from insomnia but lately there was something which kept him awake at night.  
He just couldn't get it out of his head.  
People would define him as a simple boy, who just accepted things as they were without overthinking them. But this time it was different, he could not just let it go.  
He was also a predictable person, but when he got up from the bed, got dressed and started the car engine he was acting on the basis of an impulse.  
The destination of that late-night trip was quite distant from his house, so he got the chance to reflect about what led him to that point.  
He did not know when and why it started, but by now it was already too late: he definitely wanted Mew to be more than a friend or a brother and he could not ignore it anymore. It had never happened to him before, to fall in love with a man, so he was confused at the beginning. Maybe it was because they spent most of their time together or maybe he had been mislead by the intensity of their bond. He had tried to give a logic explaination about the way he felt when Mew was around but the only equally logic conclusion was that he had fallen in love. The way his heart started beating as crazy when he saw him, the heat going up to his cheeks, the awareness he had about Mew's body and the shivers he felt shaking him everytime they made contact. He had never felt these things for a friend before.  
He thought Mew as well knew that things between them had changed, but he never brought it up and he was way too shy to start that conversation without an encouragement.  
Things could just have gone ahead that way, but lately he had noticed something which upset him. Mew was avoiding him. It was a subtle kind of distancing that could not be seen from the outside, but to him it was clear.  
Before they used to casually spend time together if they had a chance, they did skinship in a natural way and not just for fanservice, but now Mew touched him just if it was inevitable. He was honest and he wanted to make things clear without too many misunderstandings or tricks.  
He was so deep in thought that he arrived in front of Mew's apartment way earlier than expected.  
He had been to Mew's a few times before, but it was always during daytime and because he was invited there. He just hoped not to seem rude by showing there at night and without a warning, but he could not delay it anymore. He got out of the car taking all of the courage and self confidence he had, but when he rang the bell he noticed his hands were trembling, so he hid them in his pockets. He thought Mew would be sleeping, but he appeared at the doorframe in a short time, as if he was awake as well.  
Mew seemed surprised to see him, but he soon composed himself in a kind and careful attitude  
" Gulf, did something happen? It is late, why are you here? "  
He sucked at hiding things, especially feelings and he was a terrible liar, so he decided to get straight to the point  
" We have to talk this out. I know you are avoiding me"  
Mew's mask of courtesy faltered. It was just for a moment and he soon put it back together, but Gulf took advantage of it  
" I have to say it. I like you"  
He expected everything from Mew, to be laughed at for his foolishness or scolded for his boldness, but not this: Mew firmly looked at him without even blinking, as if he had foreseen he would have said this. His answer sounded as a line from a script he had already practiced  
" No, you think you like me but you don't. You are young and inexperienced, these are Type's feelings, not yours. You can't distinguish the character from you, it often happens to actors. You are confused. "  
It seemed he was trying to persuade not just Gulf, but also himself. It was a rational reasoning. Gulf had thought about that as well, but it didn't match with his personality. It was true he had given himself to portay Type in a realistic way, but they had a completely different approach to life and to lovr  
" It is not like that and you know it. Something is going on between us"  
He could see Mew's walls were falling down, so he went on  
" Type and Tharn may have allowed us to grow closer, but what we feel is not fiction, it is real"  
Mew shook his head and said, his voice cracking  
" It can not happen again, not to me. I can't "  
He was confused, not understanding what those words meant. Mew was looking away, as if he was ashamed.  
" What do you mean by that?"  
It was better when Mew was not looking up because as he did it he saw his eyes seemed to beg him to stop, there was despair in them  
" You have to know what happened. Everyone does"  
Realization hit him as Mew pronounced these words. He knew who Mew was even before Tharntype and had heard some rumors, but he did not connect the dots: Mew was scared to be hurt again. He aways had thought about him as his self-confident and attentive mentor, but now he saw him exposed in all his vulnerability. The fact that Mew trusted him enough to show this side of himself made Gulf fall in love with him even more.  
He decided to put aside his shyness to reassure the person in front of him, who seemed so fragile in that moment that he was afraid his touch would have shattered him. As he put his shaking hands on Mew's cheeks he tried to transmit all the tenderness he was capable of, hoping to make him feel at least a part of the love he proved. He usually was not a sensitive or delicate person, but he could do that for Mew. When he spoke he did it in a soft and sincere tone  
" I would never hurt you or betray you. Maybe you do not trust me enough right now, but I'll do my best to prove it to you"  
He did not know who moved first but they soon found themselves melting into each others arms. There would be time to talk later but right now to him that gesture was more meaningful than a hundred words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the ones who spent some of their time to read my fanfiction  
> This couple inspired me to write something but it is one of my first works, I hope you liked it!


	2. Mew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Same story but from Mew's perspective  
> Inspired by "Sea of lovers" by Christina Perri  
> https://youtu.be/yVzyLYgzJBI

The bedroom was slightly illuminated by the moon and everything was quiet around him. Despite of this calm atmosphere he couldn't fall asleep, thoughts were racing in his mind and they kept him awake. The sudden ringing of the bell brought him back to reality, he checked the alarm clock

_2:34_

Few people knew where he lived. His friends would never come this late without warning him and his family would not bother him that late at night. There was only one person left. It could't be him, could it?

As he considered that option his heart started beating faster against his will, he imposed himself to remain calm.

When he saw the tall figure of Gulf standing in the doorframe, nervously shifting from one feet to the other, all of his resolutions vanished. Deep down a part of him knew why Gulf was there and what was going to happen, but he tried to silence that voice and he did his best to assume a calm appearance.

He was good at that. He could manage the situation.

He could feel Gulf's stare on him. He just hoped the riot happening inside him could not be seen from the outside. Gulf seemed upset and he suspected the reason, but right now he had to pretend. He was an actor, playing a part was natural to him.

" Gulf, did something happen? It is late, why are you here? "

That was something a worried and attentive friend would have said, wasn'it?

He had even expected Gulf's answer. It was obvious he had come to talk with him, anyway his guard fell down for a moment. He soon pulled himself together again, but it was too late

_" I have to say it. I like you"_

He knew something between them had changed lately. As they grew closer their relationship grew deeper and by now he did not see Gulf as a friend anymore. He had tried to avoid it, but all the time they spent together did not help and he had noticed Gulf's attitude as well was changing. He had daydreamt about them, but that was what it had to be: a dream.

He went on as if he had not heard Gulf's confession. He had to keep on playing his part.

" No, you think you like me but you don't. You are young and inexperienced, these are Type's feelings, not yours. You can't distinguish the character from you, it often happens to actors. You are confused. "

These words were not just for Gulf, but for him as well. He had repeated them in his mind thousand of times lately trying to convince himself about their authenticity, by then they sounded rational to his ears: Gulf was misinterpreting what was happening.

But he was not. He was well-aware he was not confused at all.

_" Type and Tharn may have allowed us to grow closer, but what we feel is not fiction, it is real"_

Words echoed in his head. It would have been easier if Gulf had just agreed with him, by now they would be laughing about it, but instead he insisted and Mew felt the lump in his throat become thighter.

Why was fate so cruel with him? It all was so absurd he may have laughed about it. History was repeating herself, but this time he could not give in.

" It can not happen again, not to me. I can't "

He did not expect Gulf to immediatly understand what he meant, but he was not strong enough to talk about it. He looked up at the other boy, hoping his eyes would talk on his behalf

" You have to know what happened. Everyone does"

He had already fallen in love with a coworker. By now everytime he thinks about it he curses himself for how stupid he had been. He had put his heart in someone else's hands and they had crushed it into a thousand pieces. It took him a long time to return to the scene and now,when everything seemed to be fine, he found himself in the same spot. Maybe something was wrong with him. He was so ashamed.

He expected Gulf to leave after what he had said, but instead the younger boy came closer to him and he tenderly put his hands on his cheeks. Gulf rarely initiated contact first and he was not a sweet person, but that touch was so tender and loving it touched him more than it should have.

_" I would never hurt you or betray your trust. Maybe you do not trust me enough right now, but I'll do my best to prove it to you"_

The left resistance which stopped him from melting into Gulf's touch disappeared with those words. Maybe it was because it was what he needed to hear, or maybe he was not strong enough to resist, anyway the lump which made it difficult to breath loosed and he finally felt fresh air invade his lungs.

He did not know who moved first but the remaining space between them disappeared and they found themselves into each others arms. There would be time to talk later but right now to him that gesture was more meaningful than a hundred words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the ones who spent some of their time to read my fanfiction. This couple inspired me to write something and it is one of my first stories, I hope you liked it!


	3. Mew and Gulf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The following part of the story  
> Inspired by "Sweet Creature"  
> https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=sweet+creature+harry+styles

Gulf walked in the bedroom shyly after getting changed in some clothes Mew handed him, all the courage he felt before vanished. Mew had insisted about him sleeping over saying it was too late to drive back and after a moment of hesitation he agreed. The recent events had drained all of his energy and he was suddenly feeling the weight of all those nights up on him, it was the wisest solution to stay there, but he still felt shy about that prospect.

Even if they were close he never slept there and there was also the question of what had just happened. He had just confessed his feelings but Mew had not given him a clear answer yet. They had spent some time hugging tightly, gently rubbing each others' backs, but without saying a word. The last thing Gulf wanted was to make Mew feel uneasy, so he decided not to put too much pressure on him, even so he couldn't help thinking about it: what was their relationship now?

He saw Mew sitting on the bed and decided to join him. He was so lost in his thoughts he did not notice him until he felt a slight pressure on his arm. Mew lift up his head and found Gulf soflty staring at him, so close he could smell in his scent. Mew found himself admiring Gulf's features, which were now hit by the moonlight and their beauty took his breath away. It was then that a new realization struck him: he wanted to be free to touch that face whenever he wanted. 

" I like you too. You know that right? " as he said that a tear run down his cheek. The fear of being hurt was still there, but the love he felt was much stronger.

Gulf slighly blushed and smiled at him. He wiped away the tear and rubbed his face in a reassuring way

" I know"

Mew had tried his best to hide his feelings, but Gulf was an acute observer and probably they were so strong he sometimes showed them in spite of his intentions. He was glad though, that Gulf knew he was not indifferent.

" When do you think _it_ started ? "

Gulf was generally very introverted, but with Mew it was easier. Talking with him had become effortless and now the private atmosphere made him feel even safer. It was as if they were the only two people left on Earth.

" I noticed something had changed this winter. I started perceiving you in a different way, but at the beginning I was confused. I had always been into girls and I actually thought about what you said earlier, that maybe I mistook Type's feeling with mine. I excluded this option when I realized one thing: I am not in love with Tharn, I am in love with _you_ "

Mew thought his heart was going to explode and he felt the smile on his lips growing wider and wider. When Gulf realized the word love had escaped from his mouth his face turned read with embarassment. 

" I am in love with you too. I did consider you as a little brother at first, but now..."

Mew looked eloquently at Gulf's lips and got closer, expecting a signal from the younger boy, who closed his eyes in response. They had kissed many times before and they already knew the curve of each other mouths, the way they would taste and move, but now it felt completely different. They were not Tharn and Type, they were Mew and Gulf and that kiss carried their past, personal experiences and feelings. It was a long-awaited kiss they had both been longing for a long time, filled with love and the promise of all the future kisses there would have been.

They remained like that for a long time, fully enjoying the moment. They broke the contact just when their breaths became heavy and their lips started hurting. They remained in silence afraid their words would have interfered with the magic that was filling the air. Anyway Their eyes, shining with awe, spoke for them. 

" Shall we sleep? " Mew said tenderly

They laid in bed, at first they fought with tiredness to keep on looking at each other as long as possible, but soon their eyelids closed and sleep won the battle.

_" Goodnight my love"_

Maybe they would meet in their dreams. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the ones who spent some of their time to read my fanfiction. This couple inspired me to write something and it is one of my first stories, I hope you liked it!


	4. Their friends

After discussing it they had decided to keep their relationship secret. Mew was not ashamed about it, but he preferred to leave his private life out of the spotlight since the last time he ended up being exposed. Maybe in the future he would come clean, but its wounds were still recent and for now he wanted to feel free from any external preassure. Gulf was so excited and happy about finally being together he would have liked to tell it to the entire world, but he understood Mew's point of view and accepted it without protest.

However the privilege of knowing the truth was given to a few of their friends, including Mild and Run. These two sooner or later would have found it out on their own, so they decided it was better to be honest before of being exposed.

They were having a few drinks together when Mew started speaking. He had stalled for a while waiting for the right kind of mood, but now the time had come

" We have something to say to you guys" He was holding Gulf's hand under the table, searching for reassurance.

Mild got serious and drew Run's attention, as the noticed the tension in Mew's voice 

" Okay man. We are listening" 

" We are a couple now"

Mew couldn't deny it was freeing to finally confess it to someone

As usual Mew did not get the kind of reaction he had expected from his friends. Mild turned to face Run and reached out a hand

" I won, give me my money"

Run took a banknote from his wallet in a huff and reluctantly gave it to Mild

" Wait. What is happening?" Gulf said not understanding what was going on there. Mew on the other hand had a suspect, but he hoped it not to be true for his friend's sake

" We made a bet" Run said as if it was the most natural thing in the world

" You made a bet on us" Mew was hoping he misunderstood Run's words

" I will explain it. We bet on when you were going to tell us you started dating" Mild looked eloquenty at the new couple

" How did you know?" Gulf seemed more curious than angry

" Come on guys. How could I not know would be the the right question."

" Yeah, you literally have heart eyes everytime you stare. I mean, more than usual" Run added with a smile

" I bet you would have come clean to us tonight, while Run insisted on saying you would have kept it a secret for a little longer. To me it was a sure income."

Gulf was violently blushing while a proud smile formed on his lips. Mew's anger vanished as he felt Gulf's thumb gently stroking his hand and it left behind just a minor irritation towards his friends, but this one as well was meant to disappear.

It was when they left the club. Mild pulled him aside and said while looking at him

" I'm really happy for you. It has been a long time since I saw you smiling as you do when you are with Gulf and to me this is all that matters. You deserve to be happy, you really do "

Mew felt a strong wave of affection for his friend. Mild could be a hassle sometimes, but he had always been by his side no matter what. 

" Thank you. I'm not sure if I can think of myself as a happy person yet, but I promise I'm currently working on it" 

While saying he was staring ahead of him. Gulf, _his boyfriend_ , was walking next to Run and he was giggling because of some stupid joke, his eyes were shining with amusement. 

Mew felt his heart skipping a beat in front of the vision and a fond smile formed on his face.

"I think I am already at a good point. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the ones who spent some of their time to read my fanfiction. This couple inspired me to write something and it is one of my first stories, I hope you liked it!


	5. The others

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As long as they were together, he could face it all

Apart from the privacy matter there was another reason why Mew wanted to keep their relationship secret. He had been in the film industry long enough to know how it worked. Gulf, on the contrary, was still a newbie and even if he had immediatly become famous, he still lacked experience. Being young, he still looked at the world in a naive and enthusiastic way. Mew, at the beginning as his "mentor" and now as his boyfriend, felt like it was his duty to help him preserve this worldview as much as possible. Probably his instinct came from what he had lived firsthand. After being exposed it was as if his name had been ereased from the industry, he was thrown away as rubbish. He wanted to believe things had changed by now, but the truth was that their country was still very traditional and there were lots of narrow-minded people, especially among the elders.

-

\- 

It was rare for them to go out alone. They usually hung out with their friends or some of the cast members, but that nigh t they felt like having what could only be defined as a date. For the occasion they had chose a nice and little-known restaurant where they would be free to act as a normal couple. After dinner they strolled for a while, talking and giggling together about stupid things. At the beginning they were afraid to be recognised, so they kept the distance, but seeing that nobody was actually paying attention to them they held hands. It was tiring to pretend for most of the time, but for that moment they allowed himself to indulge in the touch.

It was when they took a back road that the mood suddenly changed

" Get a room! Fags!" A man shouted from the other side of the road

Mew felt as if all the air had been taken out from his lungs. He found himself unable to move, while Gulf's reaction was different

" What did you say? Come here you asshole! " 

As soon as he heard this Mew got back to reality. Gulf was usually a calm and quiet person, but Mew knew how reckless he could become because of anger. He had to prevent what was going to happen

" Hey, look at me" He firmly put his hands on Gulf's cheeks forcing him to shift his gaze

" It's fine, calm down. It is not worth it."

It was probably the first time Gulf found himself in a situation like that, but it was not Mew's. At first he would react in the same way, but now he was so used to it to just let it be and even if he would have given everything to keep his boyfriend away from that shit he was aware that would not have been Gulf's last time.

" Sorry, I have lost it for a moment." Gulf seemed to have calmed down, but he still looked shaken up

" Don't apologize. I have been there too, I know how it feels"

" Did it happen to you other times?" He hated to see the pain in his boyfriend's eyes

" Yes, it did. Are you ashamed of being with me?" He hoped Gulf would understand what he meant with that question

" How could I ever be ashamed of being with you?. You are the one I love, to me that is the only thing that matters " He said that without hesitation, stroking his boyfriend's arm

Mew realized how much he had understimated Gulf before. He though he had no idea about what he would have to face because of their relationship. but now he saw the truth in his gaze: he had already thought about it, probably even before getting together, but that did not scare him away.

As long as they were together, he could face it all.


	6. Their everyday life

Gulf stretched out his hand to the other side of the bed expecting to find the familiar shape of his boyfriend's body, but much to his disappointment he could only sense the bedsheet fabric.  
It was Sunday morning. Their schedules both were surprisingly free, so they had decided to spend the day together at Mew's place. Gulf was worn out because of work so he had planned to sleep at least until lunchtime and even if he knew Mew was a morning person he still hoped to find him laying next to him.  
By now he was awake, so he reluctantly decided to get up and see what Mew was up to. As he walked out of the room he heard sounds coming from the kitchen and he headed there still half-asleep.  
He found Mew standing over the stoves completely focused on cooking. Gulf leaned on the wall smiling unconsciously at that sight. After a few minutes spent like that he walked towards Mew, careful not to be noticed. Once he was close enough he hugged Mew from behind and buried his nose at the base of his neck, breathing in his unique scent.  
He felt Mew's body immediatly melting in his embrace. They remained silent for a while, lingering in that touch. Mew slightly turned his head, offering him a radiant smile before breaking the silence  
" Are you hungry? I'm making breakfast" Mew seemed so happy and proud of himself that the remaining irritation Gulf felt for waking up so early vanished. He nodded " Mmh. What are you cooking?" Mew gave him a quick kiss and replied "It's a surpise".  
Gulf still felt he had to help him "Can I do something?"  
" I need flour, can you take it?"  
The first few times Gulf went to visit Mew he felt out of place in that elegant and spacious house. He moved around uncomfortably, not knowing where to find things. Things changed over time and before he could even realize it he walked around as if that place was his second home. He knew where Mew put things and in that case he had no problem to locate where flour was.  
Looking at the bag an idea came up to his mind. Gulf covered his fingers with flour and got closer to Mew and with a sudden gesture put his hands on his boyfriend's cheeks. When Mew turned to face him he could not help laughing his ass off. Mew glared at him with a threatening look " So you want war?" He came closer and Gulf found himself backing off " No, please stay away"  
Mew grinned and grabbed both of his hands. Gulf was could not resist and soon found his hands smashing flour on his own face and at that point Mew as well started laughing. Gulf lift up his gaze and met Mew's eyes staring at him. If at the beginning they were sparkling with joy now they became more intense. Their hands were still intertwined and Gulf became aware of the closeness of their bodies. He decided to make the first move and put his lips and Mew's. The kiss started as a soft one, but soon became more intense. Gulf felt Mew's strong hands grabbing his waist and gently placing him on the counter. He began stroking Mew's hair with his fingers, leaving traces of white between them. He tied his  
legs around Mew's waist to pull him even closer and he felt a moan escaping from his lips. Their hearts were pounding and the air was filled with sparkles and...a sudden thought hit him. He tried to pull himself together to speak  
" Breakfast..." Mew interrupted him with another kiss  
" I turned off the stove. Now there is a more urgent matter we should take care of, don't you agree?"  
" Yes"  
After all Gulf was grateful he had woken up.


End file.
